Two years ago my nearly perfect life was shattered in the midst of a terrible snowstorm. My beloved 8-year old daughter was fatally injured just 5 days before Christmas. It was the type of life-altering event that you can not begin to imagine unless it happens to you. A fate I would wish upon no-one.
In the early days I was in total shock. My faith was challenged and my naivety destroyed. I knew only one thing... that it was now my responsibility to keep my beautiful daughter's memory alive. Jaiden was an incredibly loving creature; wise beyond her years. She was filled with a compassion for others that was unmatched. Her loss was like tidal wave in the Garden of Eden.
We formed a foundation in her honor and named it Jaiden's Angel because we know that this was her destiny. We reach out to other local families in need; comforting parents who are facing tragic child accidents, illness and death. We do this in Jaiden's memory...
I used to be a writer. It was my true passion; but after that fateful day I lost my ability to weave my words. As we approach December 20th, the anniversary date of Jaiden's accident; I realize that I must reclaim this passion in order to tell her story. In the meantime, I have decided to write this blog to begin to piece together my thoughts. I hope my experiences might help someone else.
We begin this journey by sharing Jaiden's gift to the organ donation bank of New England and Boston Children's Hospital. On Sunday, December 20th, an article will be published in the New York Times Magazine that details some of our experiences concerning Jaiden's death. It is our hope that this story will offer support to other families in similar situations.
Jaiden's light shines on still. It is always with us, and she will live in our hearts for eternity. We lit a 24-hour burn candle for her today at the cemetery. Tomorrow we will light another one for her in our own memorial garden. We will never forget our precious Angel; she is our beautiful inspiration....
In closing, I wanted to share this poem about how hard the holidays can be for a family that has lost a child. I hope it sheds some light on truly harrowing this grief journey is...
SPECIAL HANDLING PLEASE
I was handed a package the other day.
It was wrapped securely to be mailed away
Attached to the outside as plain as could be
Was a simple note for all to see.
Please rush through the holiday season;
Too painful to open for any reason.
Contained within, find one broken heart-
Fragile, broken, falling apart.
Tried to go shopping the other day;
The hype of the season blew me away.
Sat down to write cards,
That was insane.
Couldn't find the list
Or think of my name.
People say,
"Come over, be of good cheer."
"Celebrate the holidays,
Prepare a New Year."
But my grief overwhelms me
Like waves in the sea.
Can they cope with my crying,
an unsettled me?
I don't have any holiday cheer.
Decorations, traditions, big family meal
I can't do this year.
Do you know how I feel?
Guilty and frustrated!
I've let everyone down!
Our holiday celebrations
used to be the best in town.
So just ship me away
Address unknown
When my grief is better
I might fly home.
author Mary J. Pinkava
Best Regards,
Holleigh Ciardelli Tlapa
~Forever Jaiden's Mom~